by strip mall

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released June 8, 2016



all rights reserved


strip mall London, UK

i don't know her

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Track Name: catholic guilt
the picture book of saints is the most
violent thing that you would ever give to a child
other than crippling insecurity born out of personal failings
and parents are rarely happy or stable and
i am a catholic because my grandfather
was dying of cancer when i was a baby
and i wear a cross when i feel
particularly sacrilegious and oh
how it burns me
like black lace and marble statues
or the body of saint sebastian
shot through with pink plastic arrows and
supermarket vodka on the floor of your shower
and i could die in a bad way
for jesus
is that all it takes
why do you take
who touched you when you were a child
and were you ever a child
like me
were you ever a child
like me
Track Name: i will not know you like i knew you (bulldog eyes cover)
i dropped out of college
where i wrote lots of papers all about nothing
and didn't learn a single thing about the world
cos i've got a soul like a trash bag
and i shoplift every chance that i have
i found a letter i wrote myself
it says you are insufferable
no one will miss me when i leave town
because i am an asshole
i got pulled doing 80
i didn't know my license had been suspended
i thought i paid my tickets before august 5th
well i guess that i didn't
i'll see you in court
and you can give me a ticket
that i can't afford
i made out with ashley
i'll never understand just why she was nice to me
i'm not attractive and i'm definitely not her type
we had nothing in common and she had a boyfriend
i let myself thing it was something it wasn't
i found a letter i wrote myself
back when i was a child
it says i hope that you're happy now
and what you do is worthwhile
but it's not
it's not
it's not
Track Name: sadsadsadsadsad
i'm gonna tell on you
to my therapist
you hurt my feelings really bad
and i can't handle this
cos i'm emotionally still seven years old
in the hallway of my old school
kicked out of class watching the trains run past
the window
i am the spirit of myself
i am a slave to mental health
that only functions when it feels like it so
fuck you and fuck me
also it's not your fault it's not my
fault let's blame our parents like we always do i
love you but it's so difficult
and you're so difficult
i am as difficult as you and everything's
relative and space is expanding and i don't
get quite how that works but i'm not a scientist
i never have been
maybe i'm average
maybe i'm not elliott smith or someone whose
sadness was important and you are important
like comets and dark matter
you break apart across my atmosphere like the
challenger space shuttle disaster and i love to watch you
and i wish you'd eat more
and change your hair once in a while
and puke somewhere other than hamish's kitchen floor
Track Name: not tonight dear
you lie outside our room
ear to the door i can’t see you
we get our timing wrong again
break teeth and drink till we forget
do you feel better now
white skin blue nails and hair that’s falling out
we made the strongest start
we self indulgent works of art
you lie to me and i can see
you broke your hand again last week
your name my arm i hope the harm
won’t fade in time i hope you’re fine
we fought on the way home
about your girl and things she didn’t know
and it was me out cold in my new dress
but like you cared
i don’t feel better now i go to class
work sleep see you around
we don’t resolve, redeem
we fight, we mourn, and we repeat
i skip my class you lie for me
i took too much again last week
you lace your boots you kiss my cheek
and we repeat
and we repeat
Track Name: bad guy
i am all self destruct
and donald trump for president
i mean i have small hands too
maybe he's just misunderstood
hand out nuclear launch codes
with pamphlets for school kids
plywood desks will save us from ourselves
and cold war communists will burn in hell
with the homosexuals
and the mexicans
and the aliens
and the x files
and the david lynch movies that i like
and the death of the free world in hindsight
and what were we thinking with that guy
who's that guy
what a bad guy
Track Name: all the real girls
all the real girls
used to watch me
put my clothes on
after gym class
all the real girls
used to hate me
i don't fit right
i never fit right
all the real boys
they aren't like you
that's okay now
i used to like you
all the real boys
they won't miss you
maybe i will
i don't want to
Track Name: in heaven everything is fine (eraserhead cover)
in heaven everything is fine
in heaven everything is fine
you've got your good things
and i've got mine
in heaven everything is fine
in heaven everything is fine
you've got your good things
and i've got mine
Track Name: mustard
yellow hairband
blue veins of my left hand
robert frost makes me feel sad
read american psycho till i'm real mad
smoke out my window just to break rules
there's no one to watch me so it's not cool
bite all my nails off till i'm like you
listen to that band just to spite you
this is my room
and the bed creaks
and the air's dry
and i'm getting by
yellow hairband
why is there a bruise on my left hand
robert frost is a dead man
i'm a nail gun i'm a walkman
smoke out my window till my chest hurts
there's no one to watch me and that makes it worse
grow all my nails out just to spite you
listen to that band till i'm like you
this is my tomb
and the bed hurts
and i don't cry
i'm not getting by
i'm not getting by
i'm not getting by